MIRAI CODE · Bring the Reins Back
To You Who Expects, and Ends Up Let Down
To hope for someone isn't wrong — only, gripped too tightly, it hands them the reins of your heart.
Mirai — a Future Decoder who reads the sounds of your name
"After all I've done for them."
"I thought they'd understand, even without my saying it."
You hope — and in just that measure, you're left feeling betrayed. Does that happen to you, too?
In my readings, I meet so many people who, precisely because they are kind and give their all, are quietly wounded — let down by a reality that gives nothing back.
— I know it, too.
After my divorce, there was someone I was with for six years.
While working, I made breakfast and a packed lunch every single morning. In the evenings, too, I would bring him a home-cooked meal. …It wasn't that I wanted something in return. Only that I loved him. He was precious to me, and I wanted to treat him so. That feeling simply became my actions, just as it was. (So many people are like this, I think.)
But what came back was not gratitude. It was small complaints.
Even after six years together, when someone outside would ask, "Are you two married?" the answer that came was, "No — we're just old schoolmates." At that one remark, tossed off without a trace of malice — (Am I… not being cherished, after all?) — deep in my chest, something went still, and cold.
Expectation isn't bad — but gripped too hard, it aches
To hope for something from another person is not, in itself, a bad thing.
But grip too tightly to "surely they'll do this for me," and you hand the reins of your own heart over to them. Your mood, then, is decided by a single reaction of theirs. And that is a hard way to live.
Bring the reins back to yourself
What matters is to let yourself hope — but to hold it softly, loosely.
Not "what will they do," but "what do I want to do." I wanted to be kind, and so I was. And that, already, is enough. When you can feel that, you stop being tossed about by another's response.
The sounds of your name reveal the distance that's easeful for you
The sounds of your name hold a hint of the distance at which you, by nature, feel most at ease with others. Once you know the closeness that suits you, the tiredness of drawing too near — and the hurt of hoping too hard — both begin, little by little, to ease.
What I am really doing, in every reading
So to those worn out by their relationships, I say this: "Do let yourself hope. But let's bring your own good mood back home — to you."
In the end
Keep your hopes, softly, deep in your chest — held loosely, no more than a "how lovely, if it comes to be."
Bring the reins back to yourself, and relationships grow suddenly lighter. Your kindness, even with nothing given back, is a beautiful thing — it truly is.