MIRAI CODE · Fill Your Own Cup First
To You Who Always Puts Others First, and Ends Up Empty
You can't pour from an empty cup — so fill your own first, and give what overflows.
Mirai — a Future Decoder who reads the sounds of your name
You can't turn down what someone asks of you. Your own things, always, come last. And before you know it — you're worn out.
Has "if only I endure it" become a habit of yours?
In my readings, I meet so many people — kind, and deeply responsible — who put others so far ahead of themselves that the heart wears clean away.
— "If only I endure." For the longest time, that was my whole way of living.
For the man I loved, I let go of the study-abroad dream I had finally grasped. At my fiancé's family home, I served them until I was worn down to nothing. And once I became a mother, it was all for my child.
Before I knew it, my own self came, always, dead last. And I believed — never once doubting it — that this was what it meant to be "a good person," "a good mother." (Many of you feel the same, I suspect.)
But — at the far end of all that suppressing of my own feelings, what I had lost was nothing less than my own life itself.
An unfulfilled heart calls the same reality back
Earlier in this series, I spoke of how like frequencies draw to one another.
When you put yourself last, always, the heart takes on the frequency of being unfulfilled. And then, strangely, relationships that ask only for your giving gather to you, again and again.
It isn't that you have done anything wrong. Only that the order has simply been turned around.
To fill yourself first is not selfish
Picture a cup. While your own cup sits empty, you have nothing to pour for anyone else.
Fill yourself first — and give what overflows, to others. That is the most natural, unstrained way there is for kindness to move. To treasure yourself is not selfishness. It is the very first step of a good and generous cycle.
The sounds of your name reveal the true feelings you've set aside
The sounds of your name hold the longings you truly wish to honor, and the shape of what feels good to you. The honest feelings you tucked away beneath "for others' sake" — as they come into view, you remember, gently: "Ah — this is what I wanted, too."
What I am really doing, in every reading
So to those who try too hard, the first thing I say is this: "You, too, deserve to be cherished."
Permission — to let yourself be filled. And when someone can receive it, at last their shoulders come down.
In the end
To you, who are so kind to others —
please, turn some fraction of that kindness toward yourself, as well.
Your own fullness is the surest foundation there is for the happiness of everyone around you. Begin with you. That, truly, is enough.